Nicholas

My son, Nicholas, will be attending his last day of elementary school tomorrow. I remember the day I took him to his first day of kindergarten. OMG. I cried, and cried some more. He was growing up. I didn't want the rest of the world to share in him. I wanted him for myself. He was my heart, in its entire form. I must have fought myself three times not to just pick him up and walk away, hoping no one would notice that we were there in the first place. I wanted just one more day of him being my baby boy. It was hard. He kept saying, "its going to be so much fun", "I'm gonna be a really good boy today mom", "You dont have to worry". Maybe he could tell I was upset. I dont know how anyone could've not been able to tell. It was that bad. So after the initial upset, I eventually let him go. He waved goodbye to me. He was now part of his OWN new world. He may have even been a little embarassed then by me hugging and kissing him goodbye. So I go home, unsure of how to spend my day without him. I go into his bedroom. Cried some more. I stare at the clock. I spent my day waiting for it to be time to pick him up. I left the house an hour and a half before it was actually time for him to be finished his school day. I drive to that school, and wait outside the whole time. I wait for my boy. I was so proud of him that day. As upset as I was, it was a good day. I realized he was ok. He was able to do this. I prepared him enough to get through this. I was the one who wasn't prepared. BUT, he is now going into Middle School. He will be in a new place, new people, new teachers. Older Kids. Strangers. I am so scared for him. Or maybe for me? He seems to be excited about it. His last day in elementary is tomorrow. So I will be going there, to his school, to wait for my little boy on his very last day there. I will be the proudest mom out there waiting for their child. I will cry, I will get upset, and I am sure I will be completely embarrassing to him, but, its okay. I don't care. My boy is growing up. My once, little precious baby boy. All grown up. :(