I have not forgot.

When you have enough good days, you think things are going to be okay. It comes and goes a lot. Just so happens it came today. It puts me in a stand still for a few moments. Its kinda of like a shadow that overcomes you, like the feeling you get when you thought of the solution, when your brain clicks and says wow...I think I got it. Except this is the opposite of getting it. This is the-Yes I know you are still here...I know that it happened...I have not forgot...

It is so hard getting through this pause. It only lasts a second or two, but its hard.

The universe makes it look so easy. A mass amount of people have died. Those who are "involved" in those deaths, they are in shock, they mourn, they grieve, they accept. You look at someone with a naked eye whos had to deal with this, and from the outside looking in...its almost like...give them time, things will be normal again, and they will be back to the way they are supposed to be. It doesnt happen that way. Things are never normal again. People are never themselves again.

The worse thing that this universe could place upon you is the loss of your child. It is unbearable. It is a weight you carry around with you forever. You do this because this weight, is what you have of your child. Its what is left of your child, and you simply cannot walk without them.