Even now, I am naive to think it would be any different. Each time I feel as though I'd be okay without him, he does or says something amazing, and I love him all over again. Its almost as though I cant help myself. I always thought that in life, you would end up with the person you were meant to be with. Sure, it would take some effort on both parts. Sure, it wouldn't be as easy as snapping a few fingers. It feels like he is being dangled right smack in front of me, and I cannot touch.
Except that I have. I have experienced him. I have laid beside him. I have been in his arms. I have fallen asleep with him. I have felt him breathing on my neck. I have listened to his heartbeat while I lay upon his chest. I have held his hand.
I have fallen so head over heels in love with someone who is unable to admit the same. I don't want to imagine tonight without him, even though he won't be here. I don't want to imagine the morning, without being in his arms. I don't want to imagine that thought that maybe, just maybe, we will never end up with one another.
When he looks at me, his eyes say that he loves me. When he lays beside me, his body tells me it never wants to leave. When his arms are around me, it tells me that he never wants to let go. When we fall asleep together, it tells me he never wants to wake again without me. When I feel his breathing, it tells me I want to be close enough to hear your thoughts. When I listen to his heartbeat, it tells me this is love. When I hold his hand, it tells me he will never let me go.
But when its time to go, and time to wake up from this perfect cluster of moments, it tells me- Until next time.
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