"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."

Monday, September 3, 2012

And dedicate them all to me...and I will give you all my life...


I have been defeated- I have came to a point in life where I had to give up. I gave up a great part of me. I have had those nights that I cried myself to sleep. I have had the days that I couldn't bear to get out of bed. I have had times that I have hid myself from the world. Mainly because of sadness, or shame, or lack of pride. I have been tossed aside...I have allowed things in my life to get the best of me. It may not have been my greatest lived moments...buts its my life- nonetheless.


I have suffered- I have chosen other's paths instead of my own. I have given many amazing things up for what seems pointless now. I have been second on my priority list. I have back burner-ed my feelings to the point of no forgiveness sometimes. I have gone without happiness to suffice the needs of others. I have known what its like to not matter.

I have known loss- I have had the greatest loss any one human should ever experience. I have had the feeling of numbness. I've been lost in my mind. I have experienced the blankness. The void had grown and made a home inside of my soul. I have grieved for my own created by my own thoughts.


I have built appreciation- For myself...my life...the people I am sharing it with...and the memories I am able to create in the mix. I have learned to accept things I am unable to change and realize that I am surrounded by beauty. I have learned to start my mornings off with staring at the sky...and knowing I am here for reasons.

I have grown sensitivity- I have been able to take my experiences and use them as a cloud to protect judgement...to understand the little things in life...to realize that I am not the only person on earth. I have allowed myself to meet eyes with someone...and to share my thoughts with them...and know that- they aren't all the same. I have given myself the ability to open up...even if I get hurt. No adventure worth while...without a little pain.


Okay....the point????

My point here is- I am an amazing person.

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