Pretty Lashes

Well, today wasn't really what I thought it would be. These last few weeks haven't been what I thought they'd be. Its really disappointing when I think about it. I do that often. I have a tendency to set expectations of myself and others that don't normally pan out like I picture them to.  I spend the majority of my time working. I dont spend enough time with my children as I'd like. I miss them always.  Look at my "relationship" life. We arent even gonna talk about current here...I was with one person for what seems to be my entire life. This person is not around anymore. Regardless of the reasons as to why, its still a life changing result. When I got over my initial sadness and fear...I thought- Wow, now this is going to be my time. My time to have fun and finally enjoy myself and life in general. I wont have anyone holding me down. No one that I have to take into account when making decisions. Independence. Independence sounds amazing, huh? Didn't quite work out that way.  I quickly realized that life gets hard. Nights get scary.  Its definitely not all its cracked up to be.  Here I am now...on my own. I spend very little time on the things I enjoy. I rarely have any fun. My days have turned into monotonous moments that come and go, over and over again. I frequently feel like I have no grasp on anything in my life.  As a person, I have always been strong. I have always been one that felt I didnt need anyone. But if this was the case...why do I feel this way now?

At least I have long pretty eye lashes to cover my eyes!