I don't know how to exist in a world that my dad doesn't...

What I would give to have just one more day with my dad. One more night sitting at the kitchen table, just being goofy. One more evening listening to him play that guitar. One more Colorado story. I'd give my whole world. 

Everyday is scary to go into now. I find myself just wanting my dad. I catch myself thinking about what I wished I could have said to him. Giving him just one more hug. Brushing my face against his. 

I find myself at a complete loss day in and day out, and wanting nothing but to be able to sit with him for a few minutes. Even in complete silence. Knowing that he was around, made me feel safe. It gave me courage to fail. It gave me appreciation for the little things. 

I'm left thinking...

What would my dad think of this? 

Would he approve of what I am doing with my life? 

What would dad say about this? 

What would dad tell me to do? 

...and I'm left with no choice but to miss the most silliest things...guitars, bottle caps, flannel shirts, banjos, straw hats, and the sound of the harmonica playing. 

If its broke, just use duct tape?

I get it. I completely get it. I understand immensely. I get the reasons why men and women wouldn't want to date someone that already has children when they don't. I am in complete agreement that it is a personal choice or preference that all should be entitled to. If a woman doesn't want to date someone because the guy has kids with someone else, or vice versa, then to each his own. I understand the baggage and drama, or the misconceptions of the unknown.

What I don't agree with is getting yourself into a situation of dating someone who has kids, for it to only lead no where, because of the very fact stated. If you know from the get go that you don't want to date or see someone with kids, you don't want to start a family with someone who already has a family, then don't. Find someone else. Do not waste that persons time. Do not take that person for granted. Do not back burner someone for the simple fact that at the moment it works.

Do not wait until you are madly in love with one another to decide this. Do not create something so amazing only to force a complete explosion later.

I'm drinking sparkling water test

I'd say hes sad.

His dad left him for a very long time. 

His dads in a hotel meeting with some other lady that's not his mom. 

He told the kid hes going on vacation and never came back.

Its 10:56 at night. His dad left at 8:00.

Hes waiting for his dad.

He's humble.