At least I careD

 I miss being a kid. I miss the ease of life. I miss when these crazy huge decisions weren't thrown into the mix of my world. I miss being innocent. 

I didn't have to worry about whether I loved him enough, appreciated him enough, or put enough greatness into his day. I didn't have to succumb to being let down each day. A while back, someone said to me-  "you let yourself down". I try to remember that line nowadays when I get disappointed. I've come to realize that- to put my destiny into someone else's hands, to put my hunger and hopes into another's free will...is just wrong. Only I am responsible for how my day turns out. I cannot blame others.  

I fight each day with myself to dredge on. To make it through another day. That tomorrow will be better. I say to myself- "don't give up today". The problem here is...it's getting tougher each day to recite those words to myself. It's even harder to force myself to listen.