"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."

Sunday, March 10, 2013

Some familar road

Well if I have ever doubted that karma exists...I was fucking wrong. My god, I was wrong.

Some may call it GOD doing these things, as its an easy blame or explanation for them, but I don't buy that. Its the consequence of doing wrong to make yourself "happy"...which in turn, bites you in the you know what.

Every decision I have made in the past two months, has been the wrong decision. I didn't know it at the time of course, but it was.  I am now finding myself in an all too familiar spot. A place of pure unhappiness. I have gotten EVERYTHING that I wanted. All the things I wished and hoped for, I have now. Problem is- it's not all it was cracked up to be. Yes, its what I wanted, but its not what I expected.

I find myself miserable, and wanting to find an easy out. Seems I have been doing this "outting" a lot lately. Maybe its the "new me". Who knows.

Maybe all these things I had wished for-for so long, i have gotten so I can experience them, so it won't be added to my list of- woulda, coulda, shoulda. I am so naive to think I have a choice to get back what I had before. How do I get myself into these situations?????

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