My biggest fear right now- dying with sadness. Throughout your life you eventually do learn what to hold on to and what to rid your life of. I've always thought it would be easy to rid my life of sadness when the time came for it to be gone. The problem I always glanced past was- What if the very same source of sadness is what also provides the most happiness? How do you know which one outweighs the other? What if neither side bears more than the other? Do you keep both? Do you leave both?
Its so easy to look through this specific problem during the sad days. When you are at your wits end with life, you are in dire need of something positive to happen or something to light your world on fire. It is so easy to give in to those wants. Its when you get to the edge of that cliff that your mind chimes in saying- "Wait, what about the greatness that lies within this land, let's not forget about that". That's when you have to stop and think about it. That's when the decisions play tug of war with your heart.
And it hurts. Unbearable pain that I'd wish on no one. No one.
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