Make sure you turn off that light when you leave

When I get scared, I think of my Dad. I take comfort now in knowing that maybe...just maybe...he is looking out for me. He is somewhere up there watching, making sure that I am okay.

I miss him. Immensely. There are no words to describe the aching desire to have him back. I would give anything to have him back for only a few moments. I would give up my whole world just to hear him play one more song on his guitar, rocking out to some silly old music.

When I think back over my fathers life- I realize that he didn't have much to contribute to his life. He didn't have fancy cars and clothes. He didn't get to take those exotic vacations that one dreams of taking. He didn't get those "night out on the town" nights. He didn't have much of anything.

He was a simple man. He worked everyday, for as long as I can remember. He left early in the mornings, before the sun showed it's face. He came home late, when the sun had already left for the evening. He would walk in, with that box in hand, exhausted. Ready to clean the day off of him and rest for tomorrow's tasks.

He didn't get to have much that he enjoyed. He didn't go out with friends, go to parties, go to restaurants. He didn't go bowling or play sports. He didn't have any of those things that most people fill their lives with. With this void, he still...always seemed content with his life. Day in and day out, content.

He was a family man. He loved his family. He loved those who weren't even family. He loved people. He loved everyone. He was a very humble man. He did what he needed to do to ensure that his family was okay and happy. Regardless of what made him happy, and without giving into his own want of happiness- he did what he needed to do for others. He lived his whole life this way.

But why did he do this? Why did he throw his happiness to the side to suffice everyone else? Why did he make so many self sacrifices to ensure the world around his was okay?

I wish I knew. I wish I knew how he was able to survive this way. I wish I knew what kept him going each day. I wish I knew his reasoning.

There are far too many selfish and ignorant people in this world that would never come anywhere close to the kind of person my father was. My father's death is a great loss to this terrible world we live in.