What are you typing?

Well, I've done it. I made it (almost) through this night. Although it is morning now...it still kind of feels like night to me. Probably due to my lack of sleep...but I'm here.

Last night was a horrible night. Glad to say that it's over and (almost) done with.

A few nights ago...I had a strange and quite scary dream. I was havnig a party of some sorts in the back yard...with most of my family, when out of no where my house lights up and is on fire. At the beginning of this fire, it was only the upstairs of my home that was amid flames. During this time...my mother and boyfriend began taking things from out of the kitchen and bottom floor of the house to "save" things as quick as they could before the fire reached the downstairs. They sat there in conversations...saving things. It didn't seem like they were the least bit hasty in saving things. In the midst of this horrible incident...I realize there are people upstairs- where the fire is. So of course, I run up there to save them. In doing this- I get stuck. On steps, maybe? Then a hand appears. The hand of my boyfriend. When I touch this hand...it isn't his. I can immediately tell, it isn't his. But it appears to be him. I denied this hand and waited for my boyfriend's hand. Meanwhile...the ones I thought were upstairs were not. Turns out...two others were up there..who ended up dead.

Dreams have such a way of opening your thoughts and your mind to meanings and possiblities. They hold so much strength behind them that most fail to notice. I have always been a believer that my dreams meant something. That maybe they were trying to tell me something. I haven't always have a great track record with this...but when that record was great- it was well worth all the failures...as scary as they were. I'm not completely sure what this all means. I've had a million different things going through my mind over the past few days and weeks that it could have been triggered by a hundred things. A hundred conversations. A hundred moments of sadness. Who knows. But when it does happen (the reason for the dream)...I'd like to think that I will immediately understand the reasoning. The warning will be clear. I just wish the warning was more to clear to me now as opposed to waiting for failure to happen.