If you dont mind

Angels of our mercy
Come to follow me
These lights seem thirsty
For a much tolerable degree.

I feel my surrounding
I see these skies erupt
It seems so astounding
Its pause seems quite abrupt.

The swirls of this small space
So very few in between
These thoughts of our place
Becomes somebody else's routine.

Recovered in the eyes
Of all those left standing
Wrapped up in disguise
With no flaws outstanding.

With or without the choice
To lead, and to accomplish
Left to fend off stars
If only to astonish.

I twisted and turned in bed, not able to get your face off my mind. I wanted to see you at that moment, and realized the feeling meant I was missing you.

I hated that picture, had to delete it. :)

Me and my red-headed nephew. Hes looks innocent here, but omg...he really isnt.

I look really mean here...or maybe Im just pissed off...I dont remember?

Hmmmm.....

Boys...Boys...Boys

So, my day today went pretty well. Even after not thinking it was going to. So thats a big plus. One thing that got me today though. Stupid boys. By boys, I mean grown men, who act like boys. In particular my brothers. We made this bet about the game last night. Of course I thought I was going to lose. But ended up not losing..but whatever. They think that just cuz they are guys, they are better than girls. So...because they lost this bet...I got to pick whatever I wanted to get them back. Paybacks sorta.  Now me, being sooooo nice....(yeah right), I settled for something easy, and told them they had to wash my car. So they wash the car. Did a crap job. But they are guys...so what can you expect?? Anyways, today, they tried to get me back for winning. We were arguing about some stupid band. I could have sworn it was someone, but they told me I was wrong. We looked it up, I was wrong. So...they decide since I lost the bet, they were gonna include in their game. So here I am, thinking they were taking it easy on me. I was so wrong. The game was tasering. Apparently, they all went out and bought these tasers. They were little, handheld things though. So how much could it hurt? It hurt. It wasn't really pain kinda hurt, more like shock and surprise kinda hurt. Hard to explain. They chased me, and got me. So what did I do? I called my sisters, and we snuck up on them and got them back. At least one of them. He whined like a girl. Goes to show...that every "boy" has a little sissy girl inside of them. I wont be making anymore bets anytime soon tho.

RE-START

Off to start my day...finally right? Well, I had to chase my dog this morning. That wasn't fun. Couldn't find my blow dryer...that really pissed me off. Didn't have any filters for coffee...yep. I left my towels hanging over deck last night...this morning...they were floating in my pool. Couldn't find my iron...cuz god forbid i leave the house with a wrinkle in my clothes....found that at least. I somehow forgot that schools were closed today...so i made my son get up, get ready, and i took him to school...but no one was there. Oh...and my creepy neighbor has been sitting on his front steps since eight. I'm sure he's gotten a pretty good show to watch today. SO...I went to my bedroom, laid back down for five minutes, and now I'm up again, ready to RE-START my day. Easy enough? Lets hope so!

Nicholas took this picture...then told me I looked funny in it.

What the boys did to my deck.

My sensor light...that is no longer in use.

I used half aperture taking this photo...this is what I got.

Shakespeare..........

MIRANDA: It would become me as well as it does you: and I should do it with much more ease; for my utmost will is to it, and yours it is against.

FERDINAND: Admired Miranda! Indeed the top of admiration! worth what's dearest to the world! Full many a lady I have eyed with best regard and many a time the harmony of their tongues hath into bondage brought my too diligent ear: for several virtues have I liked several women; never any with so fun soul, but some defect in her did quarrel with the noblest grace she owed and put it to the foil: but you, O you, so perfect and so peerless, are created of every creature's best!

Identical

Everyone assumes they are right,
Me and my methodical ways...
If only for this night,
Or maybe just a couple days...


My comfort has been lost,
Views are fully distorted...
Safe zone has been tossed,
This crazy mind is misreported....


What could be the purpose,
Perhaps this jump I've taken...
For this to be on surface,
Next time, I won't be mistaken...


The things we bring about,
Surrounded, and corrupt...
My name you may cross out,
But my thoughts, you wont disrupt...


Founded with heart,
That cannot be shattered...
Wisdom and ignorance, I can tell apart,
Its ok...the notion won't be flattered.

Besides...

If I got my hands on u...u wouldve never made it home. :)

My version of your fear

Fear? It wasnt fear. It was uncertainty. It was the second pause to think, that I took. Unbelievable to me more than anyone. It was that one last part of my head talking. The one that hadnt been blown out. At least not at that moment. Imagine, what would today be like, had I not had this "fear" yesterday? Hmm...

FEAR...what is fear...what makes us scared of taking steps.  What makes us fear what we dont know?  What makes us fear what might be fun?  What makes us fear chances?  I think it might be the fear that something will actually happen.  We are content with our thoughts of what could be, but when what could be becomes a reality, it scares the shit out of us.  We are content with our imaginations, but if what we imagine has any remote chance of becoming an event of the past, we change our mind...strange...FEAR

5:00 AM

Its 5 AM. Its 5 AM and I'm awake. Wow, right? I was woke up by the sound of my phone ringing. The phone upstairs of course. I wait to see if it stops,and the ringing doesn't stop. So...I fight myself to get out of bed. I go upstairs. Its dark, really dark. I turn the kitchen light on, immediately look through the sliding glass door, and wtf do I see? A raccoon. Actually- a raccoon's eyes. I scream. Like a little child. I didn't know it was a raccoon. It was on the deck. Right outside of my door. I run back downstairs, get clothes and shoes on...which I didn't know I could get dressed that fast, but obviously I can. I go back upstairs, and the thing is STILL on my deck. Still sitting outside of my door, by this time, I knew what it was, and felt a little better. For all I knew it could have been anything or anyone. I was half asleep. I turn the outside lights on, and figure out what it was. The thing wouldn't move. I tried turning lights on and off, to see if that would scare this away, and it didn't. So I gave up. Turned the lights back off, made sure the doors were locked, and came back downstairs to go to bed. With all of this I forgot about the phone, by now, it has stopped ringing. So I lay down, try to go back to sleep. Then...the doorbell...yep. Apparently one of my old ppl neighbors seen my lights going on and off and thought something was wrong with me. They called the cops. By now, I'm pissed. All I want to do is go back to bed. I explain to the officer, and he leaves. Whatever. I get back downstairs, go back to bed. Or, at least try. By now, I can't get back to sleep. So basically, I'm screwed. All because of the stupid phone ringing, who, I still don't know who that was. But when I find out....

Anyways, Its 5 AM. And I am awake.

Magic Canvas

Here is the link to Jeannie's website. I just met her. She is apparently my first cousin. I havent actually "met" her, just became aware of the fact that we were related, and who she was, and that she even existed.  New peoples...kinda cool, and kinda exhausting all at once! Will it stop? Will the world run outta ppls to throw my way? Hmmm....not likely. But anyways, heres her website, she paints, and is kind of a cool artist. Check it out.

www.themagiccanvas.com

 

This showed up on my ipod today as my "daily inspiration", was weird...because of what i wrote this morning...


A Dream Within a Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

-Edgar Allen Poe

A few weeks ago, I had this dream. I dreamed I was walking through the airport, meeting someone. On my way, when I was actually walking, this older lady stops me to tell me about whatever it was she was soliciting. I was very rude to this lady and kept going. It was almost like I was in too much of a hurry to care, or be aware of what was going on around me. This lady, she was wearing this huge hat. One of the ones that needed a hat box because it looked so antique-ish. Anyways...It happened to me last night. My initial reaction in my head of course, was deja vu. As soon as I was walking past her, and she tried to stop me, I paused. I seen flashes of this in my head. Had that feeling.

Now I see how this could seem stupid. I have read pretty much every article on premonitions, listened to ever podcast on deja vu. I have heard or read everything to do with anything like this. However, this isn't the first time, or even the hundredth time this has happened to me. This was only the second time that it happened like this though. Normally it would just be instances, or images, that would come to my head as something Ive already experienced. This time, it was more or I should say longer? It was strange, because it takes a good ten minutes to walk through to the waiting area, and from the very beginning, when I left my car, I noticed it. I felt it. Almost every other time I have notice something like this, it has been associated with something significant in my life. As far as this goes, it could mean nothing, or something, I'm not sure. On the way back out of the airport, the lady was gone. Almost like she wasn't there to begin with. Maybe she wasn't there at all? Who knows.

Off to start my day now. Lets hope it goes smoothly, and easy. Yeah right...

Kevin Devine- You are my sunshine

This is my favorite song, of all time, ever. Not many have heard of it, but if you havent, you should listen.

http://www.youtube.com/user/grassrootsgurl#p/f/34/QFR_Dv_AVEw

Kevin Devine- You are my sunshine

id do bad things to u, and ud love it.

Omfg. Powers been out all night, and still off.

Hot chocolate with marshmallows...mmm...

 Seriously??? I just heard the dumbest pick up line. This idiot guy said it to me that works at best buy. I called him an idiot, even though I'm sure hes super smart, since hes one of those computer geeks, but....I mean come on now? Does he sleep in bed with his mother? This was his pick up line for me, only after I turned him down, twice. Guys must be programmed at birth to think they are kings of the world or something. For me, youve got to do better than that.

Anyways, my day was okay today. I feel a little better, allergies are almost leaving me alone right now.  They must have sensed my anger.  I got to finish my transition on half of my outline, so that was a plus for me. Its pouring down rain outside, and being how I am such a chicken, I could swear there are strange ppl outside of my windows throwing things at them. I checked and double checked to make sure windows and doors were locked. My sensor light in the driveway wont stop coming on, and I can hear my neighbors dogs barking. Its driving me crazy. So...I came downstairs, locked myself in my room, have both phones beside me...just in case...and covered all the windows. Lets just hope my power doesnt go out. Time to go hide under those comfy blankets that have been calling me since 8 am this morning! ....ok, maybe 10 am.